Partnership is the Kittens We Found Along the Way

It is a near-constant joy in my life to have cats. You’d probably never know this about me if you had met me in the last 5 years or so, but I’m actually very allergic to cats. I kind of acclimated to it. I’m careful about cross-contamination. I never touch my face after touching a cat without washing my hands. In return, we have the sweetest little orange cat in Clementine and my soul in cat form: Poseidon.

And Kojii is the love of Jakki’s life or whatever.

It’s really interesting to see what the state of love for an animal looks like. While I love my (figuratively) little cat-son dearly, and the thought of losing him to anything is absolutely heart-wrenching, he is a pet and a particularly needy one. He needs emotional reassurance and I’m honored to be the one who he cries to when he feels alone or sad.

But he also doesn’t get to choose. He had no say in it. I just scooped him up from a fostering network and decided that I would keep him for myself. It’s worked out for the most part, I’d say. Moving days are tough, but he loves looking out windows and seeing new birds. The big ones get special greetings sung from the soul of Sisko’s Sixteen Pound Son. I think he thinks of this tight metal tube as home. He definitely has spots that he prefers.

I feel privileged to be a part of his life is what I’m trying to say. And I do my best to let him know. I think he gets it. Yeah. He gets it.

In a lot of ways, what we did was pretty crazy. In a way, kidnapping each other from the world, we set off on this mosey across the western and southern US not really knowing what it’s like to be around another person 24 hours a day. Not in a metal tube with 90 sq ft of space. Nobody knows that until they do it. Recently, I’d remarked in reminiscence about how absolutely insane what we’re doing is, considering the absolute lack of exit strategy. At this point, I’d probably find work driving a bus. Maybe I could be a writer’s assistant.

Jakki asked in response, “How do you think we learned to live with each other?”

I had to pause. I didn’t remember. Or had we never really done it? A happy side effect of having to strugglebus through our first couple of months was the little problems never had time to gain gravity. Remember to be considerate before getting upset. Do your best to accommodate your partner’s requests. There were definitely some terse moments but overall, it’s just nice to be together.

Peaceful. Serenity is found in the space behind your RV where the sun can’t find you. Where opinions over AITAs are exchanged. Ok, mostly I opine and Jakki nods at me like I’m insane. Where we plan what tomorrow looks like. Where we exchange feelings about how those plans transform continuously. Where we dream about leaving the rest of the world behind. A little bit of spice doesn’t hurt.

It ruminates in a way that settles just right, our own GPS-addressed turf to spread out on and live and be and slowly fall away from society the way we’ve begun to on the pop culture front. We get the benefits of modern consumerism. We can still enjoy the creature comforts. It works with a partner. Someone you’re in it with.

I have the privilege of being part of a “we.” There’s no future without the other. No muscle memory for the consideration, even. This is us. It’s nice. Peaceful. Complete.

I do my best to let her know.

I think she gets it.